Thankful That My Humbling Experiences Rarely Include Public Humiliation, But Think That Maybe They Sometimes Should...

I was reading through Lewis's section on pride being the Great Sin in Mere Christianity while at work tonight. I had just finished his forgiveness section in which he calls the wishing of your enemies to be worse than they actually are the real test as in this area.

I congratulated myself on not being one to slip into such folly and was thinking pretty well of myself.

When I got home, I had a message from Amy Ballard, a girl that I worked with for a week this summer in Colorado. We had a rotating staff of girls on our trips, and Amy had been picked to be the girl's leader on one of them, and did a fantastic job. In her message, she had just returned from Konnection, (yes, many things that were previously spelled with a C are spelled with a K in Kanakuk circles) a mid-year reunion of Kanakuk staff from both the Colorado and Missouri camps, with great news. Jamie Jo, the women's director of K-Colorado had asked her if she would be the full time girl's leader for Expedition this summer, my section of camp.

Was my reaction "That's awesome! Amy was an incredible leader last year and to have her be with us all summer will be great!" ? Hardly. My first thought was this: "Hm. Why wasn't I consulted about this offer? I mean, Clayton and I are running this Expedition thing aren't we?" For about a minute, all I thought about was being snubbed. No thought to what a blessing it will be to have this girl working with us, or happy that she's so happy to have the opportunity. Me me me, that's all that was going on in my head. Why wasn't I honored, where's MY due respect?

Now for those of you outside of the Kanakuk world, let me explain something. I do not run Expedition. It was started last year by four men better than myself, and it was the blessing of God that I ended up having a part in it. Through no action, diligence or ambition of my own did I end up getting to take kids out into the most beautiful country they've ever seen and help start what will hopefully be a beneficial outdoor ministry. I fell into it like a blind man wandering around cliffs. I could scarcely have asked for a better person to work with, and still my own pride was the first emotion ignited.