We're talking real, physical junkmail here, the stuff that piles up in your garbage or recycling bin. First of all, I have to credit one Jay Zmuda with this Proverb. As much as I'd like to claim it as my own, it belongs to him.
I'm sure all of us have been duped into thinking that a piece of junkmail is something legitimate, maybe a real bill or letter from a company we currently do business with, only to open it and find that we've been pre-approved for who-knows-what by a robot addressing machine somewhere in California. Perhaps you've noticed the return envelope enclosed inside these cruel jokes? And perhaps you've also noticed the tiny print in the upper right-hand corner of this envelope, which reads "No Postage Necessary If Mailed In The U.S.?" Sweeter words were never printed on marketing stationary.
All one has to do is open the letter, find the return envelope, stuff everything (including the original envelope) into this pre-paid one, and send it right back. And the the beautiful irony of it is that these companies only pay the postage for envelopes that are used. So it costs them 39 cents to send you junk only if you send it right back to them, unsigned and preferably torn up.
Now, instead of filling my space with mail I'll never open, everything of that nature that comes into my mailbox goes right back out on their dime. Booyah.
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5 comments:
Stick it to the man!
Why bother doing that? Why not turn the other cheek, as some guy said?
Well I suppose I don't see receiving junkmail as being struck on the cheek.
All right. It seems very foolish to me, anyway. No human bean is opening that mail. It will be immediately discarded. You're spending at least a minute or two on this, for the sake of charging these companies another dime at the bulk rate, on profits of millions.
It is silly. And the fact that those companies spend a dime is just icing on the cake. I like not having grocery bags full of junk mail in my kitchen.
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