Anxiety

I saw Jarhead today and really dug it. Aside from the cinematography, which was great, I really enjoyed the way that Mendes portrayed the enemy of these Desert Storm Marines. Instead of Iraqis or nameless Arabs, boredom and a growing sense of anxiety was what these guys battled with day in and out.

Sounds lame, I know. Maybe it is but what really hooked me was my own experience of being in a situation where you know and expect something to happen, and just have that expectation whittle away at you night after night. These guys change as their stay in the desert lengthens, not just because of each other or the war, but because they know that war is out there, near, and they're not a part of it. Quirky personalities become borderline insanity from the sheer tension of nothing.

I think it might be the feeling that something that's either owed you or that belongs to you is being withheld from you. When we feel anxious, it usually has this aura of something being extremely close to realization or fruition, but that there's something in between it and us. Sometimes it's something as simple as time. Other times we orchestrate situations that perpetually keep us in a state of uncertainty, keeping ourselves afloat in a grey sea with land in sight, but forever out of reach. Or maybe I'm the only one who does that once in a while.

Go see Jarhead. Be warned, there are some nudey bootys (Andy Braner, anyone?), but nothing outlandish. Look for how waiting can do more to someone's psyche than just lull them to sleep.