1. The Dress T-Shirt - These are the shirts that are unblemished and fit appropriately, usually with that soft feel you can only get with that 15 year-old blend of cotton and polyester. If they do have irregularities, they add to the overall charm and hipness, as I see it. Often used as an undershirt; in the off-chance that the outer layer must be removed, fashion will remain.
2. The Work T-Shirt - Shirts that have suffered a permanently disfiguring moment, or were never really that dear to my heart, but that I still find cool enough to wear outside of my home. This group is rife with the once awesome ringer-t.
3. The Only Wear to Sleep T-Shirt - A few have made it to this category after starting as a Dress-T, but usually these shirts are the ones that had that neckhole that was just a bit too large, the sleeves that kinda poofed out and further humiliated my poor arms, or just didn't have a humorous/retro enough design.
4. The Now You're a Rag Cleaning My Bike Chain Shirt - Avalon for t-shirts. They never die here, but are instead put to a final, never-ending task. The lucky ones enter this blissful state immediately following an arm or head being put through a hole that didn't exist at the shirt's birth.
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